Et tu, Scarlett?

I remember the confusion when I first heard about it. Wait, Scarlett Johannson is going to put out an album of Tom Waits covers? Seems a little odd. Seems a little random. Then she goes and picks a bunch of very obscure songs, like Falling Down and Green Grass and Town With No Cheer, with the most well known song being I Don't Wanna Grow Up. Seems a little odd. Seems a little random. It came out today. I've now heard it...

It sucks.

I get it. She's trying to be Nico. It's cute. She can't pull it off, but she tries. Here's the thing. Tom Waits is often dismissed by a lot of folks due to his voice, which can at times be an unholy union between Bob Dylan and Louis Armstrong and can at other times be simply unholy (any time he beat boxes on Real Gone legitimately sounds like the devil has taken over your stereo). But there's another side to him. Despite the gruff voice and the often bizarre instrumental choices, Tom Waits can make extremely emotionally affecting songs and albums. From the early work with "Invitation to the Blues" and "Blue Valentines" to "Who Are You?" and "Make it Rain" from more recent years, Tom's been very capable of resonating with his ridiculously rabid fan base. As such, we have a tendency to react pretty fucking negatively when other artists try to mess with his songs. Rod Stewart cannot pull off the emotional complexity of "Tom Traubert's Blues," especially when he decides to be a bastard and cut the verse with the stabbing in it. The only one who came close was Springsteen, and that was mostly because Waits managed to out-Springsteen Springsteen when he wrote "Jersey Girl." So we're pretty protective of our boy Tom.

But Scarlett can't pull it off. Her Nico-esque delivery would work for songs that were, you know, designed to be sung by Nico, but it doesn't work for Tom. She squeezes all the emotion out of everything. It just comes out like a monotone. You can't take the emotion you hear in Waits' voice out of a song like "Who Are You?" It doesn't work. The skeptic in me really believes that the indie cred Scarlett built up on Ghost World is pretty much diminished, so she made a surgical strike by putting out an album of obscure Tom Waits songs. I hope I'm wrong, and I hope she legitimately likes Tom Waits, but at the same time, why would someone who legitimately likes Tom Waits completely butcher his songs over and over again? Doesn't make sense.

There is one good thing here. The musical background supplied by the guitarist from TV on the Radio (there's that indie cred!) is pretty good stuff. It's quite ethereal, and evokes a strong sense of a dream state. But it also overpowers Scarlett on numerous occasions, making it nearly impossible to hear her intonation (which, to be honest, isn't exactly a bad thing often times...). To be frank, the entire album's a mess. If you're even a basic fan of Tom Waits, skip it. If you're like me, and your ring tone is the chorus from "Tom Traubert's Blues," definitely skip it. If you're not a fan, check it out, but listen to the originals to hear what it's supposed to sound like.

I will be getting back to the VS talk soon, mostly based around thoughts about the cosmicky goodness currently going on in previews this week, as well as my terrible, terrible mistakes at the Bring Your Own Set this past Sunday.